Phebe Survived Both of her Miscarriages


Warrior Woman

Phebe Shumate-Yawson

All I ever wanted was love. My father didn't know how to reach me. I know longer fault him for that. There is still distance between us, but I try to bridge the divide with laughter. 

During my younger days - very long hard days of wanting love - I left the country and lived in Ghana for over a decade. I volunteered with my family's nonprofit organization, Oiada Inc. Int'l, and did everything from dressing up like a clown to entertain orphaned children, to dressing up like a needle for sick kids, rapping, dancing, singing, and cooking all over the country.

I did not expect to fall in love but I did, and I fell hard.

We got married, and five years later, I got pregnant. Eights weeks after that, we lost the baby. I sobbed for what felt like an eternity. I was completely broken, gaining 20 pounds in 2 months. I can remember lying in bed with my husband feeling like this was my fault. So I told him that I was going to take a shower. I walked into the bathroom, turned on the water then I laid on the bathroom floor in a fetal position feeling absolutely broken. I told God, I feel broken, like I can't recover and I didn't know how to make it to the next moment, to the next day, but I did.

Some time went by, and I got pregnant again and we had our first child. She was beautiful and chubby and more than anything I could've imagined. We got pregnant again before she was two. 15 weeks into that pregnancy we were told after the ultrasound that our baby wasn't growing, and that, in fact, I was in the middle of a miscarriage.

I was in denial even though I felt the cramping. 

I went to my auntie and laid in her bed, and as she held me, I screamed in horror and pain as I felt my baby falling out of me. My cousin ran for my husband because although the baby was gone, the blood wouldn't stop. My other auntie who is a midwife tried to stop the bleeding in the car on the way to the hospital as I was finding it hard to stay conscious. I remember my husband asking, "Is the baby ok? Is the baby ok?" and my heart shattered even though I was half out of it. Even though my heart was already broken, it still felt like a sword pierced me. I almost died that day in more ways than one. 

Two weeks later, I found myself on the bathroom floor yet again, but this time I fell deeper. I told God that I needed Him to hold my soul because I didn't know how I was gonna get up. Then I heard my baby girl calling me, and I found the strength to stand for her.

I now have three children. They're all beautiful models of strength that keep me alive. They force me to live harder, be stronger, and fight for happiness everyday. I am now an award-winning author, full time mom on the path to opening a new business with my brother. All and all things are looking up and I'm proud to be happy!

Phebe, thank you for telling us your story of courage and strength, despite incredibly odds. xoxo - Kelly

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