My Son Should Be Arrested

My Son Should Be Arrested

911 Operator: "911. What is your emergency?"

Me: Hyperventilating. "Yes, hello. I need you to send an officer to my house. Right now."

911 Operator: "Calm down, ma'am. What is the situation? Are you safe?"

Me: "Yes, I'm safe, but this is a very dire, very urgent problem. I'll need you to send someone immediately."

911 Operator: "Okay, ma'am. I'm dispatching someone to your property as we speak. What is the nature of your emergency?"

Me: "Yes, it's nature."

911 Operator: Pauses. "No, I mean, what is the problem?"

Me: In a whisper. "It's my son."

911 Operator: "Speak up, ma'am. I cannot hear you. What is the problem?"

Me: Shouting in despair. "It's my SON!"

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